Percy Jackson and the Greek Heroes Book Review

Summary [from Goodreads]:

Who cut off Medusa's head? Who was raised by a she-bear? Who tamed Pegasus? It takes a demigod to know, and Percy Jackson can fill you in on the all the daring deeds of Perseus, Atalanta, Bellerophon, and the rest of the major Greek heroes. Told in the funny, irreverent style readers have come to expect from Percy, ( I've had some bad experiences in my time, but the heroes I'm going to tell you about were the original old school hard luck cases. They boldly screwed up where no one had screwed up before. . .) and enhanced with vibrant artwork by Caldecott Honoree John Rocco, this story collection will become the new must-have classic for Rick Riordan's legions of devoted fans--and for anyone who needs a hero. So get your flaming spear. Put on your lion skin cape. Polish your shield and make sure you've got arrows in your quiver. We're going back about four thousand years to decapitate monsters, save some kingdoms, shoot a few gods in the butt, raid the Underworld, and steal loot from evil people. Then, for dessert, we'll die painful tragic deaths. Ready? Sweet. Let's do this.

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I honestly had a hard time describing this book. I don’t where to start! I’d been fangirling for one whole day before I finally pulled my wits together and get this over with.

Okay.

It’s technically not a novel, more like a pseudo-survival guide for heroes/crash course in Greek mythology heroes, but this is my most favourite work of Rick Riordan. Mr. Sarcastic has finally mastered the art and practice of controlled satire with maximum effect. Well played, sir. Well played.

The heroes we thought we knew by heart were given a much more flavourful perspective thanks to the mixing-in of some present-day totes relatable takes apropos to our beloved narrator and everyone’s favourite modern day demigod hero [though not mine] Percy Jackson himself. And he’s just in it for the pizza.

Percy takes twelve heroes, though some aren’t so very...heroic, to be dissected [for some, literally], figure out why some of their lives really suck, and be made an example of if you’re truly adamant at taking your shot at being a hero.

Otrera was overkill [again, literally], being the original and founder of the Amazons, but Atalanta was straight-out badass.

Theseus? Come on. Percy made this guy sound like a buffed-up Leo Valdez who made really really bad choices.

I feel kind of sad that the finale was Jason because I know his story is really depressing and he didn’t even deserve any of what happened to him. But I know it does make sense, objectively speaking, because the Argonauts were the ultimate #SquadGoals. Some heroes you’ve read on the previous pages were there. It was fun and awesome...until the road trip ended. Then Jason’s hell started. Poor kid.

Here’s what I’ve learned after reading the book:

1. Do NOT underestimate the wrath of a jealous wife. Most especially if that wife is the freaking Goddess of Marriage. They do say, “Hell hath no fury than a woman scorned.”

2. Do not forget to sacrifice to your patron gods. Especially Aphrodite. She’s really creatively nasty when she gets mad.

3. The gods are there to remind you that you are nothing but a puny mortal so don’t waste your time getting all cocky over one damn achievement or you may find yourself blasted into smithereens. 

4. There were a lot of evil kings in Ancient Greece.

5. Visiting the Oracle of Delphi is a really really bad idea 99.9% of the time.

6. Ancient Greeks have quite a long roster of similar sounding names that are incredibly hard to pronounce much less read it’s no wonder modern-day demigods are dyslexic.

There are so many things going on in this book I’m starting to feel a little ADHD myself. If you haven’t picked it up yet, what the Hades are you waiting for? A million ROFL moments guaranteed, it’ll give you abs halfway across the book and a Herculean body by the time you put it down.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna have to jog in circles for awhile to burn off excess frenetic energy.